6 Tips for Talking About a Prenuptial Agreement

 

Talking to your future spouse about a prenuptial agreement can be really difficult. So much romance is wrapped up in your marriage that viewing it as an economic agreement could be jarring. Here are a few tips for bringing it up without causing a fight.

Promote Equity

The purpose of a prenuptial agreement is to ensure everyone feels safe and provided for. Don’t look at it as a way to protect your assets, but as a way to ensure everyone is taken care of in case of an unexpected problem. People often misinterpret a prenuptial as a document that predicts a divorce. Remind them that you don’t want to leave them with nothing, you just want to make sure that what they’re left with makes sense to both of you.

Ask Your Friends

If you have any friends that have a prenuptial, ask them about it. Get your partner thinking that it’s not just for gold-diggers; prenuptials are a good idea for everybody. By showing your partner that your peers are also signing a prenuptial, you are asking them to view the concept differently.

Be Prepared

Instead of saying you want a prenuptial agreement to protect your assets, try to remind them it protects them as well. Divorces can get messy for many reasons, so having a prearranged agreement means you won’t need to duke it out after everything has been said and done. Tell your partner that it protects both parties, no matter what their income, from the nastiness that comes after a divorce. You are sparing them your potentially emotional response by agreeing on what you each deserve while your heads are still clear.

It’s Not About Divorce

Let them know that a prenuptial agreement deals with more than what happens in the case of a divorce. It handles everything to do with your property in a marriage. If you have assets you want to be reserved for another family member, this is a good way to start the discussion. Remind them the point of a prenuptial agreement is not to predict a divorce, but to make sure everyone knows what property they will be entitled to.

Bring It Up Early

The earlier you talk to your partner about a prenuptial agreement the better. If you can bring it up casually before a wedding is on the table, that’s ideal. No matter what, it’s best to have the conversation before you start really planning your wedding. You want to give your partner time and space to consider their stance- if you bring it up just before the wedding they may feel trapped.

Listen

Your partner will likely have some sort of reaction to the suggestion of a prenuptial agreement, so try to listen carefully. Identify their concerns and ask yourself where those might be coming from. By listening carefully during your first conversation about it you can show them that you only want what is best for both of you.